Black Woman

Why don’t black men date/marry more black women? Why are black men marrying white women at a rate of 32% in California? And why won’t black women branch of into dating other races as willingly as their male counterparts? The subject came up on Facebook and got pretty intense. I felt everybody needs to hear what I said about it.

Black women are goddesses. And I really can’t see why a black man would want anything less. Yes I said less. Black women have been raped, devalued, and neglected as a whole since the first slave ship crossed the Atlantic. And the black men who were their kings and princes have consistently rewarded their loyalty with more neglect and indifference. The strength it must take to watch your husbands, fathers, brothers, and sons humiliated and stripped of their glory and still see the god that dwells in them; still give their life for that man’s seed after he leaves her for a lighter, more “beautiful” woman.

Why do black men go for non-black women? Because they are conditioned to think that “white is right”. And because they will never be white, no matter how hard they try, the next best thing is to go out and get a white woman. Or as close to white as they can get.

So the black woman who slept with the white slave master to save her husband is abandoned by her king when the white slave master tells the black man his wife is a whore. The black man is told that his blackness is evil, that he is not “good”. And without realizing it, he begins to glorify white beauty. Once free, he does not look to rebuild the kingdom that was taken from him, rather he looks to emulate his oppressors. He forsakes the women who gave their lives to protect him. And he runs off with the closest thing to a white girl he can find.

THAT’S the problem. That black men still believe the lie that there is something wrong with their women. And that our woman are SO loyal that they die alone, raising more black men who never truly understand or appreciate the value of a black woman.

Is there anything wrong with interracial dating? No. you can’t choose who you fall in love with. The fact that people [mostly black men] TRY to choose is a problem. So while their mothers and daughters complain about not being able to get a “good black man”, that good black man goes and gets himself a white girl. This in turn sends the message that they, the black mothers who raised him and the black daughters he fathered, are not what he wants or values. By actively seeking non-black, he says to his mothers and daughters that they are not good enough.

Read Malcolm X’s autobiography… he makes it pretty clear. Hell, save yourself some time and watch the movie. Watch how Malcolm does Laura. Even HE realizes the effects his choice to take white over black.

Anyways I’m DEFINITELY beyond rambling now… and I could KEEP going. But I’ll end with this sentiment.

If black is not good enough to marry, then you don’t deserve black as a mother or a daughter.


~ by jon.C on 10 April 2010.

7 Responses to “Black Woman”

  1. DAMN. I completely agree. 1,000,000%. You MUST be some kind of mind reader yo. I definately gotta repost this (giving u full credit of course :]) but damn. Jus damn. I couldn’t have said it better myself and I applaud you for speaking your mind in spite of the controvery that surrounds this subject.

  2. The sentiment and passion are well meaning but it would be more powerful if it was backed up by real data. I am a black man and I have never settled for “less”. Part of the Damage of Slavery is Black Men forgetting how to be Kings and a Black Womens ability to Let him be King. A wise woman (my Mother) once said A Woman who is in control of her emotions can have anything she wants. I have dated women who made more money or were taller or had more education, but I always felt like a King, mainly because I was raised by a King. Which touches on another issue that Black women could take some responsibility for…Now remember I only said SOME….Sista soulja once said sometimes It takes a Queen to make a King…. she wrote this in a article about Will and Jada Smith….Can a Black women with a Phd make and or let a hard working high school graduate be her King….well Id love to continue but Im sleepy I just came home from my second Job

  3. You make a valid point, Michael, but what I find as a Black Queen in search of a Black King is that a lot of times Black men are not willing to do what it takes to become a King. I can’t speak for all Black women but in my opinion you can’t just BE a King, you have to EARN that title and many of the Black men that have come and gone in my life were not willing to work for that status. I truly believe that NOBODY can love a Black man better, stronger, deeper, harder, longer than a Black woman. But just like our respect its not given. It HAS to be earned. I as a Black woman expect nothing less from my man (no matter what race) than greatness.

  4. I have read Malcolm X’s autobiography, I have watched the movie, and I have seen Birth of a Nation.

    You can prove or disprove anything with statistics.

    For your question “Why are black men marrying white women at a rate of 32% in California?” one possibility could be because in california, black people (of both sexes) make up only ~7% of the population and white people make up ~60% ( 2000) I’m not arguing against the connotation of the white woman. white privilege exists and it oppresses every non-white. My point is to look at all the facts of the present not only the system of the past.

    I hate that you see me as less. yes you meant less. because i’m not black. because i most likely will dilute the black community with my presence. dilute because a black man would be settling for less for choosing me over a black woman.

    i refuse to be worth less. I love my heritage. learn to appreciate the beauty in cross cultural differences. as soon as you can you will inspire via example.

    “Why do black men go for non-black women? Because they are conditioned to think that “white is right”
    ~non-black does not equal white. now that you have identified one problem, what is your solution? i will support you.

    “The fact that people [mostly black men] TRY to choose is a problem.”
    Everyone has preferences in a mate. I look for a man working towards a college degree, a human right’s activist, loves cartoons, taller than me, and arms and abs to die for lol And i think darker skin is gorgeous. i don’t always find all these traits in one man but i definitely try to date ones that regress the least.

    my parents feel that because i haven’t found bengali men in my community attractive in any sense of the term i must hate my nationality. I hate the idea of nationality. having pride because i was born on this part of the earth.

    …sorry i want to expand just a little bit more on nationality in response to interracial dating and what malcolm x stated but i have to go to lab!

    let me know if you disagree w/anything or if it doesnt make sense. i miss our conversations about this because you bring such a fresh outlook that is never lukewarm. :]

  5. Statistics indeed CAN prove or disprove anything, but the argument that black men marry white women at a rate of 32% “could be because in California, black people (of both sexes) make up only ~7% of the population and white people make up ~60% ( 2000)” doesn’t even make SENSE because black women outnumber black men across the nation, including California, so if anything it would be black WOMEN marrying out if it was just the pure issue of a numbers game. In fact, a Professor at Howard met with some statisticians and sociologists and proved that the way black men are acting works against what the rules of pure numbers in societies suggest. Black women should be entering into many more interracial relationships, and trust me, its not because black men are more “liberated” or “forward-thinking” than black women.

    I hate to break it to you, but minorities or non-whites may be in this together, but our burdens and situations are NOT the same, and they won’t be for a very, very long time.

    In addition, your response that “everyone has preferences in a mate”, also didn’t make sense, because you listed the kind of preferences someone SHOULD have-likes and dislikes. What you don’t understand, and what anyone outside of the community doesn’t understand is that there are other reasons behind this preference of “anything but black women” that jon is speaking of. Jon isn’t talking about preferring girls that are more outgoing, he’s talking about the preference of any woman but your own because of certain stereotypes or super superficial ideas that are pushed through media and various forms of socialization, and basically oppression in its more subtle forms that rip communities apart from the inside.

    OBVIOUSLY jon knows and understands the beauty of cross-cultural differences, and relationships and i dont know what “inspiring via example” means because ummmm……Hi.

    Im too tired to be grandiose or exceptionally inspiring with my words so Im just going to leave it at this, which will probably sound way too harsh and blunt, but it is what it is.

    This post is not about you, or any other non-black woman. The point is that you are CLOSER to white than a black woman will ever be, and unfortunately for some black men, thats all that matters and THATS the point of this blog. Stop making it about YOU and that YOU refuse to be less and that YOU should be valued because well DUH. This is about the fact that in many cases, and for many years black women were not and ARE not valued or appreciated and are ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS the worst, and at the bottom.

    Can WE have a few minutes of shine please? Can ONE black man stand up and boldly and radically celebrate the beauty of black women instead of doing what others do and tear it down without other women clamoring for THEIR shine and their support??!!!

    You have it, ok? I dont know of any ethnicity/race/nationality/what the hell ever where the men are so bold and radical in tearing DOWN their women and instead seek and praise the beauty of others. THIS is not a blog post about general oppression, or the importance of moving towards a multi-cultural future, or the beauty of overcoming differences, or even a post about the beauty in womanhood-

    its in response to a SPECIFIC kind of black man who is unfortunately rising in popularity in his thinking, and becoming more of an accepted and popular viewpoint. You just get to see how it comes off as “unaccepting” or whatever. black women feel the STING and pain of being rejected by their brothers and the very ones who are supposed to at least be able to offer the support of understanding the common struggle and even if they choose another, its because of love and not because the black woman isnt enough, or is too much of some negative characteristic. of COURSE you’re not less even in this country-even your hair is the exact kind that black men love and black women try to get because of that- can ONE black man do a little bit to try to ease the pain of constantly being basically told that you arent good enough, beautiful enough, and will be alone?? The entire American history for the black woman has been PAIN. Rape, abuse, abandonment, mistreatment and exploitation. Can we have ONE case where it can be about our beauty, please?
    its ALWAYS about other women, and this time it finally finally, wasn’t.

    *forgive the typos and rambling, i uncharacteristically got emotional at the end, and now im so drained i dont feel like reading it again.

  6. Brother would you care to email me at I’m writing a book on what is wrong with black culture entitled, “The Black Plagues”. I absolutely love the way you think. My name is Kennyrich Fomunung and I am the same one who asked if I could use your “thinking man” image on Deviant Art. I would be happy to include these words you have posted about the black woman in my chapter on “Self-Segregation”, i.e. the division of black people on account of complexion. Please respond asap. Thank you!

  7. Reblogged this on iamfilda.

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